Keeping It Positive

I’m not an optimistic person by nature. There are a lot of things that can get me into a negative funk. Here are a few experiences I’ve had with positive & negative attitudes.

1. If you don’t have anything nice to say, -

   “don’t say anything at all.” I can still hear my mother saying this, primarily to my older sister who went through a bit of a “snotty teenager” stage in the early 90s. In her defense, being a teenager in the 90s was pretty crazy. At first I took this saying to be a sort of justified way of telling your kids to shut-up, but now that I look back on it as a parent myself, it sort of has something to do with teaching kindness & keeping a positive attitude. With two daughters sky-rocketing towards teenage years, I’m sure I’ll need to teach similar lessons to similarly snotty teenagers soon.

2. K.I.P. it, Beano -

   Cross country running, as a team sport, is a wild endevour. Running seems like such a solo activity that it may appear stupid to try to tack on a team aspect to it. But if you’ve ever participated in this world, you’ll quickly understand that attitude and mental-state are a HUGE part of your performance as a distance runner. And from the second you get on the team bus to travel to a meet, your interactions, comments, demeanor, all play a role in your teammates’ performances during race-time.

   Negativity is contageous. A simple, “Ugh, I don’t feel like running today,” can spread like wildfire, and suddenly everyone is thinking how they don’t feel like running today either.

   My highschool cross country coach had a saying: “K.I.P it”. Keep It Positive. And if he heard complaining about the weather, or negative talk about a teammate, or whatever sort of seeds of mental negativity exist in the teenage runner’s minds, he’d remind us to KIP it. Staying positive, and being aware of your own mental state, helped not only your performance, but those around you.

3. A toxic work culture can start with you -

   I’ve had professional experiences where I’m just not satisfied with how things are going, either with my personal role, or about surrounding efforts & events in the company. During these times, I typically have 1-2 colleagues with whom I comiserate. Looking back, its easy to see that many of these conversations had a negative effect on the person I’m sharing with. Within a week or two, I’d start hearing similar negativity coming right back. Without awareness or introspection as to how to turn negative events & emotions towards more positive outcomes, you and your sounding-board colleague can quickly fall into a toxic spiral where neither is satisfied with their work situation, and are drowning in co-negativity.

   Teams I’ve been a part of that have handled these situations well have very open & honest team retros. And don’t shy away from direct open feedback during retros. Direct feedback can sometimes be difficult, but once you realize you’re in a safe team-based work environment, direct feedback allows you to look for real positive changes to get out of the funk.